[Pirates!] Zuluficev kutak za sporni trenutak

Sve vezano za ovu kartičnu igru i igru sa papirnim brodićima

Moderator: Moderators

Locked

Have your bottocks ever been forced 'twixt two splintered planks, to plug a leak, and save a ship?

Yes!!!!
3
60%
No I have a women's bottocks!!!
2
40%
 
Total votes: 5

User avatar
Zulufic
Har!Haaaar!Ya, matey!
Posts: 679
Joined: Thu Nov 18, 2004 3:31 pm
Location: PXR5- I am the Warrior at the edge of Time

[Pirates!] Zuluficev kutak za sporni trenutak

Post by Zulufic »

Ko bude ozbiljan u ovoj temi bice obrisan od strane admina ukljucujuci i ovaj post!!!
Ovde ce se intezivno raspavljati o spornim trenucima ofsajdima i bozanskim golovima u brodicima....Ili ti, ma pusti mozak na otavu....a ako neces igraj sine Napoleonics....
Arrrrrrr!!!!!!

Evo par predloga kako dobiti Krompir za fair play!!!

1. Make up shanties for each and every one of your ships, and sing it obnoxiously loudly whenever you take that ship's turn. EXAMPLE: The Carrion Crow set sail that day Hurrah! Hurrah! She went to blow the (Insert strongest enemy ship name here) away Hurrah Hurrah!

2. Keep knocking over your/their ships on accident. Ask earnestly where they were before they got moved. If they can't remember, declare that they are cheating, and threaten to break their ships if they don't tell you.

3. Dress like one of your fleet! Wear a uniform if english, a pirate costume if you're a pirate player, etc.

4. Curse like a pirate every time you get hit or rammed, and do little pirate jigs every time you get a piece of treasure or score a hit.

5. Every time you fire, make little gun/cannon sound effects. As they take off a mast, make little screaming sounds. "AHHHH!!! MOMMY! WHERE'S MY LEG!?!? AHHHH!!! HELP US, (insert opponent's name here). OUR ADMIRAL HAS ABANDONED US!!!

6. Roll the dice for a long time, and keep whispering to them. Look around periodically to make sure that no one is close enough to hear you, and accuse your opponent of trying to listen to your secret messages.

7. As you roll, aim for the enemy ships. Say that you are rolling to hit.

8. Have all of your other ships lined up on the edge of the table. Declare that this is the rest of the fleet, and that they are merely cheering your ships on.

9. Bump into the table periodically and shout, "OH MY GOD!!! NE'ER BEFORE HAVE I SEEN SUCH A TEMPEST!!! AHHHHHHGH!!! FURL THE SAILS, MEN!! WE'RE ALL DOOMED!!!

10. Every time your opponent moves a ship, regardless of how unimportant the move is, make vague statements like "Imagine that" or snort sarcastically. Make sure that these are said quietly, but loudly enough for the opponent to hear them. Mumble about how the player has been fudging distances with their ships.

11. Place your card near your ship, and move your ship in any direction, disregarding the measurement at all. Explain that you are ballparking it.

12. Act like you're going to cry every time you lose a ship. Hold the ship thoughtfully, and stare at it solemly for a while. Make your eyes tear up if you can. Then say things like, "Little feller...don't seem right" in your best Slingblade impression.

13. Two words: Bathroom breaks.

14. Set drinks/food down in the middle of the board. Slosh the contents around haphazardly, preferably as close to the enemy ships as possible.

15. Keep making references to "your secret weapon/plan". Laugh maniacally every once in a while. Wheneve you are hit, mumble things like, "all according to plans. Heh heh." Or, when your biggest ship blows up, mutter, laugh to yourself and say, "all according to protocal. How convenient."

16. Move your ships v e r y s l o w l y. If you can, push other ships aside, and "correct" your mistake by placing the ships somewhere withn 8'' of their original spot.

17. Wear one of those Long John Silver's kids hats and claim that you are Black Beard. YAARGH!!!

18. Keep offering to accept your opponent's surrender. Say that his sailors will be kept under humane conditions as galley slaves/"entertainers".

19. Pick up the dice after you roll them before your opponent can see them. Claim that they were all successful. If he says that you're cheating, act extremely offended. Challenge him repeatedly.

20. Keep picking up your ships to "read the names" on them. Complain that they are so darn small, then put your ship in a completely different spot. If he corrects you, apologize and make cryptic references to medical conditions. "Oh. Sorry about that! My, ever since that brain aneurism..."

21. Keep obsessively looking at your watch. Say things like, "Not much time left..."

22. Keep acting sick. Make sure that it is clear that you are ill. When leaning over the table, pause and shake a bit. Cough spontaneously, preferrably on the other ships. Act as though you are about to vomit on the table, then recover, saying things like, "Uhh...tastes like...that meatloaf..."
Image
Image
Image
User avatar
Rover
Posts: 1150
Joined: Fri Feb 13, 2004 6:46 pm
Location: In DooRs

Post by Rover »

evo jedne pesmice :oops:

All For Me Grog



Well it's all for me grog, me jolly jolly grog
It's all for me beer and tobacco
For I spent all me tin with the lassies drinking gin
Far across the western ocean I must wander

Where are me boots, me noggin', noggin' boots?
They're all gone for beer and tobacco
For the heels they are worn out and the toes are kicked about
And the soles are looking out for better weather

Where is me shirt, my noggin', noggin' shirt?
It's all gone for beer and tobacco
For the collar is all worn, and the sleeves they are all torn
And the tail is looking out for better weather

I'm sick in the head and I haven't been to bed
Since first I came ashore with me slumber
For I spent all me dough on the lassies movin' slow
Far across the Western Ocean I must wander

Where is me bed, me noggin' noggin bed
It's all gone for beer and tobacco
Well I lent it to a whore and now the sheets are all tore
And the springs are looking out for better whether.

Where is me wench, me noggin' noggin' whence
She's all gone for beer and tobacco
Well her (clap) is all worn out and her (clap) is knocked about
And her (clap) is looking out for better whether.
"I like my women like i like my cannons: Big, Loud and full of fire"
User avatar
bojan
WH rulesmaster
Posts: 1846
Joined: Thu Aug 22, 2002 8:55 am
Location: Pod belim suncem pustinje
Contact:

Post by bojan »

Mutineer
By Warren Zevon

Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum
Hoist the mainsail - here I come
Ain't no room on board for the insincere
You're my witness
I'm your mutineer

I was born to rock the boat
Some may sink but we will float
Grab your coat - let's get out of here
You're my witness
I'm your mutineer

Long ago we laughed at shadows
Lightning flashed and thunder followed us
It could never find us here
You're my witness
I'm your mutineer

Long ago we laughed at shadows
Lightning flashed and thunder followed us
It could never find us here
You're my witness
I'm your mutineer

I was born to rock the boat
Some may sink but we will float
Grab your coat - let's get out of here
You're my witness
I'm your mutineer
You're my witness
I'm your mutineer
I'm your mutineer......
CYNIC, n.
A blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be. Hence the custom among the Scythians of plucking out a cynic's eyes to improve his vision.
User avatar
Zulufic
Har!Haaaar!Ya, matey!
Posts: 679
Joined: Thu Nov 18, 2004 3:31 pm
Location: PXR5- I am the Warrior at the edge of Time

Post by Zulufic »

Obratite paznju sta sve moze da vam se desi kad varate u brodicima!!!
(poslednja opcija je najzabavnija :D )

Piratical Punishments
What Happened to the luckless bastards who crossed a pirate...
So your kid is running around pretending to be a Pirate, and now the little loin-fruit wants to head for the high seas, not Dental School?
Well, here are some short backgrounds of some well-known pirates that ought to scare them straight, or at the very least motivate them not to get caught!

Flogging with cat o' nine tails (or rope end)
As flogging was common naval method of enforcing discipline in the seventeenth and eighteenth century, flogging was therefore specifically outlawed on some pirate ships.

Tying to the Mast
Described in a court transcript in graphic detail for the benefit of newspaper readers at "The Tryal of Captain Jeane" of (1726). A lad aged 18 signed on to Jeane’s merchantman ship and was assigned duties as the Captain’s cabin boy. Accused of stealing a dram of run from the Captain’s quarters, whipped, pickled in brine and for nine days and nights was tied to the main mast, his arms and legs being extended at full Length; this did not satisfy the sadistic Captain, who had his former Cabin Boy untied and laid along the Gangway, where he trod upon him and encouraged all the Men to do the same. The Men refused and Captain Jeane was hanged.

Dunking from the Yard Arm
A traditional ceremony when crossing the equator, a sailor is attached to a spar which is hoisted high above the ocean and dunked repeatedly into the ocean, he’s attached so that he does not let go his grip with the surprise of hitting the water. A functional ceremony given primitive shipboard sanitation. The naval term "heads" refers to a hole in the head of ship for excretion purposes…

Sold in slavery
Piracy was both a rebellion and an economic activity. Pirates were not above selling shipmates as slaves, particularly those who had become outsiders whilst in a pirate company because they had transgressed the pirate codes or agreements. Selling a shipmate into slavery had a clear economic benefit to the ship's company.

Walking the plank
The offender could be blindfolded with hands tied behind the back and made to walk overboard. Not as common as its feared reputation.

Marooning
The offender, sometimes stripped naked, was abandoned without fresh water on a desert isle such as one of the Tortugas, a group of flat coral reef islands north of Cuba and off the south of the Florida Keys (also known as Cays). A token of mercy was to be given a firearm or knife, to withhold such means to a swift end was a particular torment.

Keelhauling
The most feared pirate punishment of all: a rope was passed under the ship from side to side as would be used for scraping barnacles off the ship's keel. The offender to be keelhauled was attached to the rope and thrown overboard and the rope pulled so as to force the offender underwater, underneath the ship's hull and up the other side. The razor sharp barnacles would cut into the unfortunate sailor like a saw's edge, causing great pain. The victim might surface, gasp for air and taunting by his pirate comrades and then be keelhauled back underwater for another run. By all imagining, this would likely be one of the slowest and most painful ways to be killed aboard ship.
Image
Image
Image
User avatar
Zulufic
Har!Haaaar!Ya, matey!
Posts: 679
Joined: Thu Nov 18, 2004 3:31 pm
Location: PXR5- I am the Warrior at the edge of Time

Post by Zulufic »

E posto je ovaj forum otisao u/K Davy Jonesu!!! JA bi redlozija da se organizuje jedan ozbiljan turnir u brodicima!!!!

Pravila su sledeca!!! Svi koji ucestvuju plate 100 dinara sve to ide u fond za nagrade kaoje su flajka piva po stolu lebac i salama za sve ucesnika (jogurat donosite sami!!!)
Prave se flote od certdeset poena i igraju cetvorica za jednim stolom. Ako bude zena na turniru menjamo pravila....:D
Ko bude manchkinisao ne dobije piva a bogami ni salame!!!!Leba cemo mu dati cisto zbog UN-a i bombardovanja....mada smo u podrumu bas nas briga
.... Tako da vam je pravljenje flote od casti....
Ah da zaboravih pobednik je ko pokupi vise blaga i pobedi poslednjeg u ispijanju piva!!!
Image
Image
Image
User avatar
Shunka
Jožin z bažin
Posts: 3388
Joined: Sun Nov 27, 2005 11:32 am
Location: FPU/Grifon
Contact:

Post by Shunka »

Dobra ideja za turnir!
Mada ne verujem da cemo biti u prilici uskoro da ga odigramo...
Dawngreeter wrote:ima i toga
rekurzivno glupilo
90% svega je sranje, a to ukljucuje i preostalih 10%
Hypodermic
Blago kluba Zmaj
Posts: 3887
Joined: Sat Nov 19, 2005 10:46 am
Location: Tehnodrom
Contact:

Post by Hypodermic »

Kako sam dobio od dragog mi Stalkera nesto brodica, ja bih da krenem da ucim ova mnogo kompleksna i teska pravila za pomorske bitke.

Drugim recima, neko raspolozen za partiju?
Pendargon wrote:...po toj logici, mogao bih da isecem lepih 10 kockastih komada stiropora, na devet zalepim bolter i bolt pistolj, i granate, i mali nozic, jednom zalepim powerfist da viri, a na jednog zakacim lasscannon, i imam savrsenu jedinicu chaos space marinaca....
Image Image :badger: :badger: :badger:
User avatar
Zulufic
Har!Haaaar!Ya, matey!
Posts: 679
Joined: Thu Nov 18, 2004 3:31 pm
Location: PXR5- I am the Warrior at the edge of Time

Post by Zulufic »

Sto bre SHunkmeister?????
Image
Image
Image
srebrni vitez
Posts: 472
Joined: Tue Jan 25, 2005 4:41 pm
Location: Stojni Beograd

Post by srebrni vitez »

А после турнира, кобаје и пива:
"Грога мења давај!"
као што рече Шунка тај!
Locked

Return to “Star Wars i Pirates”