DA SE MALO NASMEJETE A MOZETE I VI DA DODATE NESTO
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Re: DA SE MALO NASMEJETE A MOZETE I VI DA DODATE NESTO
Deception is a Right · Truth is a Privilege · Innocence is a Luxury
- PeraNekron
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Re: DA SE MALO NASMEJETE A MOZETE I VI DA DODATE NESTO
Mind Uploader wrote:... Kazem ja da je Pera isti Darth Vader, samo bez te moralne dubine...
Hypodermic wrote:Da nije robotech-a ne bih bio ovakakv kakav jesam!
Giga wrote:Realno, sasvim je logicno da mogu bez problema da ih bace sa par stotina metara i da budu prilicno sigurni da tom land raideru nece biti nista
igor wrote:jako je tesko uzimati puno poena jer se igra po knjizi.
- Dawngreeter
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Re: DA SE MALO NASMEJETE A MOZETE I VI DA DODATE NESTO
Nemam fotografiju, bilo bi mnogo smesnije. Al' evo ipak opisno. Danas sam spremao salu (i trebalo da budem dezurni, sto sam zbog porodicne situacije izbegao) u vojsci za promociju knjige, nije tacan citat al' parafraziram naslov: "Srpske pesme iz drevne Indije"
Is it bright where you are? Have the people changed? Does it make you happy?
Re: DA SE MALO NASMEJETE A MOZETE I VI DA DODATE NESTO
A mozda je naslov trebalo da se tumaci poetski, a ne bukvalno?
Dawngreeter wrote:ima i toga
rekurzivno glupilo
90% svega je sranje, a to ukljucuje i preostalih 10%
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Re: DA SE MALO NASMEJETE A MOZETE I VI DA DODATE NESTO
Setimo se samo Deretića i sličnih. Ne bi me začudilo da je bukvalno.Shunka wrote:A mozda je naslov trebalo da se tumaci poetski, a ne bukvalno?
- Dawngreeter
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Re: DA SE MALO NASMEJETE A MOZETE I VI DA DODATE NESTO
Izgledalo je vrlo, vrlo bukvalno. Neki ljudi u narodnim nosnjama, jedan nindza, ovaj, pop i okacene neke slike u skladu sa tim. A danas obnovih secanje, naslov je "Obredne pesme drevnih srba iz Indije".
Is it bright where you are? Have the people changed? Does it make you happy?
Re: DA SE MALO NASMEJETE A MOZETE I VI DA DODATE NESTO
Meni je sledeci thread smesan http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthre ... c&t=106306 e sad nekom ce biti glupo ali ja sam crko od smeha do 5 strane "heated debate"
Goal i have no goal Fraulein i just want eternal war "Major Montana Max"
"Après moi, le déluge"
"Après moi, le déluge"
Re: DA SE MALO NASMEJETE A MOZETE I VI DA DODATE NESTO
ja imam... ali nece da je prebaci lepo nego preko blututa risajzuje u 640x480Nemam fotografiju, bilo bi mnogo smesnije. Al' evo ipak opisno. Danas sam spremao salu (i trebalo da budem dezurni, sto sam zbog porodicne situacije izbegao) u vojsci za promociju knjige, nije tacan citat al' parafraziram naslov: "Srpske pesme iz drevne Indije"
Pamti, pa vrati...
Ignorance is bliss.
Cypher, Matrix
Pazi, vidi, kockica ima 6 strana, a terminator gine samo na 1... by Chomie
Ignorance is bliss.
Cypher, Matrix
Pazi, vidi, kockica ima 6 strana, a terminator gine samo na 1... by Chomie
- Dawngreeter
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Re: DA SE MALO NASMEJETE A MOZETE I VI DA DODATE NESTO
E e e, ja apsolutno zelim tu sliku. Pravim kolekciju bizarnih fotki iz doma vojske.
Ako nekoga zanima, prva stavka uputstva za upotrebu kompjtuera je: "Racunar radi na struju opasnu po zivot."
Ako nekoga zanima, prva stavka uputstva za upotrebu kompjtuera je: "Racunar radi na struju opasnu po zivot."
Is it bright where you are? Have the people changed? Does it make you happy?
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Re: DA SE MALO NASMEJETE A MOZETE I VI DA DODATE NESTO
Ih sitno ti je to pravi X-files zaludjenici se pale na ovakve stvari http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ct1jrTes ... re=related http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6nA1__XIYUo Da crknes od smeha :lol:
Goal i have no goal Fraulein i just want eternal war "Major Montana Max"
"Après moi, le déluge"
"Après moi, le déluge"
Re: DA SE MALO NASMEJETE A MOZETE I VI DA DODATE NESTO
Eto meni dodatka za potpis :lol: :lol: :lol:Dawngreeter wrote:Racunar radi na struju opasnu po zivot
I must appologize for the explosion that blew off the door of The Chamber Unbreachable, but the simultaneous emergence of seventeen demons from the book spine, caused the spiritual detonation in the soul stoned air of the room.
The whole enterprise was an experience most horrendeous. None but I could have endured it. I was almost damned twice. Even now my soul is twisted to a cork screw.
I suggest you keep the state of your soul to yourself, and inform us, instead, what you have gleamed from the Grimoire.
Hatred and prejudice will never be eradicated. And witch hunts will never be about witches. To have a scapegoat - that's the key. Humans always fear the alien, the odd. Once the mages had left Novigrad, folk turned their anger against the other races... and, as they have for ages, branded their neighbors their greatest foes.
And 'cause I was gazillionaire and I liked doing it so much, I cut that grass for free.
Glory to Arstotzka!
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- sto mu gromova
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Re: DA SE MALO NASMEJETE A MOZETE I VI DA DODATE NESTO
shta je tu smeshno?
Re: DA SE MALO NASMEJETE A MOZETE I VI DA DODATE NESTO
to što Čak Noris ne sme da dođe u Beograd zbog njega?sto mu gromova wrote:shta je tu smeshno?
Re: DA SE MALO NASMEJETE A MOZETE I VI DA DODATE NESTO
nisam znao da je mile kitic satanista...
Pamti, pa vrati...
Ignorance is bliss.
Cypher, Matrix
Pazi, vidi, kockica ima 6 strana, a terminator gine samo na 1... by Chomie
Ignorance is bliss.
Cypher, Matrix
Pazi, vidi, kockica ima 6 strana, a terminator gine samo na 1... by Chomie
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- Blago kluba Zmaj
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Re: DA SE MALO NASMEJETE A MOZETE I VI DA DODATE NESTO
Sta da ti kazem, zlajo, meni je smesno to koliko je jadno...sto mu gromova wrote:shta je tu smeshno?
- Dawngreeter
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Re: DA SE MALO NASMEJETE A MOZETE I VI DA DODATE NESTO
Meni je smesno i sto to nekome nije smesno.
Is it bright where you are? Have the people changed? Does it make you happy?
- Pendargon
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Re: DA SE MALO NASMEJETE A MOZETE I VI DA DODATE NESTO
Meni se cini da je Mile Kitic, pored toga sto je satanista, verovatno i jakuza. Pogledajte velicinu njegovog malog prsta :-D
- PeraNekron
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Re: DA SE MALO NASMEJETE A MOZETE I VI DA DODATE NESTO
Stvarno...deluje k'o da mu fali zglavak...mozda je izneverio nekog svog nadredjenog :D
Mind Uploader wrote:... Kazem ja da je Pera isti Darth Vader, samo bez te moralne dubine...
Hypodermic wrote:Da nije robotech-a ne bih bio ovakakv kakav jesam!
Giga wrote:Realno, sasvim je logicno da mogu bez problema da ih bace sa par stotina metara i da budu prilicno sigurni da tom land raideru nece biti nista
igor wrote:jako je tesko uzimati puno poena jer se igra po knjizi.
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- Blago kluba Zmaj
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Re: DA SE MALO NASMEJETE A MOZETE I VI DA DODATE NESTO
http://dontclickthis.whatingods.name/
Jako velika arhiva svakakvih, uglavnom jako smesnih slika :D
EDIT: A bogme i nekih jako zabrinjavajuce poremecenih slika, ne zove se sajt za dzabe tako. Klikcete na linkove na sopstvenu odgovornost, moze biti veoma i zaista iskreno smesno, ali bogme i veoma i zaista iskreno disturbed...
Jako velika arhiva svakakvih, uglavnom jako smesnih slika :D
EDIT: A bogme i nekih jako zabrinjavajuce poremecenih slika, ne zove se sajt za dzabe tako. Klikcete na linkove na sopstvenu odgovornost, moze biti veoma i zaista iskreno smesno, ali bogme i veoma i zaista iskreno disturbed...
Re: DA SE MALO NASMEJETE A MOZETE I VI DA DODATE NESTO
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k-IcAYOfptk
E tako vam izgleda obuka na civilnom sluzenju vojnog roka :D.
E tako vam izgleda obuka na civilnom sluzenju vojnog roka :D.
I must appologize for the explosion that blew off the door of The Chamber Unbreachable, but the simultaneous emergence of seventeen demons from the book spine, caused the spiritual detonation in the soul stoned air of the room.
The whole enterprise was an experience most horrendeous. None but I could have endured it. I was almost damned twice. Even now my soul is twisted to a cork screw.
I suggest you keep the state of your soul to yourself, and inform us, instead, what you have gleamed from the Grimoire.
Hatred and prejudice will never be eradicated. And witch hunts will never be about witches. To have a scapegoat - that's the key. Humans always fear the alien, the odd. Once the mages had left Novigrad, folk turned their anger against the other races... and, as they have for ages, branded their neighbors their greatest foes.
And 'cause I was gazillionaire and I liked doing it so much, I cut that grass for free.
Glory to Arstotzka!
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- Blago kluba Zmaj
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Re: DA SE MALO NASMEJETE A MOZETE I VI DA DODATE NESTO
Pricaju supermen i spajdermen...
Supermen: Letim ti ja tako pre neki dan i vidim na vrhu zgrade Ženu-mačku kako se izležava gola, raširila noge, mazi se...I ja se zajurim i sletim sa kilometra visine i pravo u nju!
Spajdermen: I jel se iznenadila?
Supermen: Pa ne toliko koliko nevidljivi čovek...
Supermen: Letim ti ja tako pre neki dan i vidim na vrhu zgrade Ženu-mačku kako se izležava gola, raširila noge, mazi se...I ja se zajurim i sletim sa kilometra visine i pravo u nju!
Spajdermen: I jel se iznenadila?
Supermen: Pa ne toliko koliko nevidljivi čovek...
Re: DA SE MALO NASMEJETE A MOZETE I VI DA DODATE NESTO
Ko je izmislio triatlon?
Ciga!
Na Adu ode peške, tamo pliva, vrati se biciklom!
Ciga!
Na Adu ode peške, tamo pliva, vrati se biciklom!
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- Blago kluba Zmaj
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Re: DA SE MALO NASMEJETE A MOZETE I VI DA DODATE NESTO
Sliku postavljam bez ikakvih predrasuda u vezi politike. Niti sa ikakvom politickom pozadinom :D.
I must appologize for the explosion that blew off the door of The Chamber Unbreachable, but the simultaneous emergence of seventeen demons from the book spine, caused the spiritual detonation in the soul stoned air of the room.
The whole enterprise was an experience most horrendeous. None but I could have endured it. I was almost damned twice. Even now my soul is twisted to a cork screw.
I suggest you keep the state of your soul to yourself, and inform us, instead, what you have gleamed from the Grimoire.
Hatred and prejudice will never be eradicated. And witch hunts will never be about witches. To have a scapegoat - that's the key. Humans always fear the alien, the odd. Once the mages had left Novigrad, folk turned their anger against the other races... and, as they have for ages, branded their neighbors their greatest foes.
And 'cause I was gazillionaire and I liked doing it so much, I cut that grass for free.
Glory to Arstotzka!
Re: DA SE MALO NASMEJETE A MOZETE I VI DA DODATE NESTO
au, boco, odavno se nisam ovako smejao.... :D
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- Blago kluba Zmaj
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Re: DA SE MALO NASMEJETE A MOZETE I VI DA DODATE NESTO
Hmmm gde je taj prirucnik napisan a sto se tice ovog coveka bas me interesuje kakav mu je bio dan posle prve vesti 8)
Josef Quartjin (Enemy Within):
"Zbogom Wittgendorf-e na k...c te nabijem" Sommerzeit 13. 2512.
"Zbogom Wittgendorf-e na k...c te nabijem" Sommerzeit 13. 2512.
Re: DA SE MALO NASMEJETE A MOZETE I VI DA DODATE NESTO
Isecak iz Blica...
vidim, uvode svakodnevni full anal search :D.
A onda se uvodi i kontrola podmicivanja medjugradskog prevoza, koji se, usput-budi-receno, ne kontrolise :D.
vidim, uvode svakodnevni full anal search :D.
A onda se uvodi i kontrola podmicivanja medjugradskog prevoza, koji se, usput-budi-receno, ne kontrolise :D.
I must appologize for the explosion that blew off the door of The Chamber Unbreachable, but the simultaneous emergence of seventeen demons from the book spine, caused the spiritual detonation in the soul stoned air of the room.
The whole enterprise was an experience most horrendeous. None but I could have endured it. I was almost damned twice. Even now my soul is twisted to a cork screw.
I suggest you keep the state of your soul to yourself, and inform us, instead, what you have gleamed from the Grimoire.
Hatred and prejudice will never be eradicated. And witch hunts will never be about witches. To have a scapegoat - that's the key. Humans always fear the alien, the odd. Once the mages had left Novigrad, folk turned their anger against the other races... and, as they have for ages, branded their neighbors their greatest foes.
And 'cause I was gazillionaire and I liked doing it so much, I cut that grass for free.
Glory to Arstotzka!
Re: DA SE MALO NASMEJETE A MOZETE I VI DA DODATE NESTO
Jebote ovo je za neverovati...
Zamisli jutarnji i policajce koji izvrcu dzepove i prebrojavaju sa koliko novca polaze na posao... a tek ovo sa tajnim agentima u autobusima... boze koja je ovo zemlja... Generala Stojadina pod hitno vanredno unaprediti za makar 2 cina
Zamisli jutarnji i policajce koji izvrcu dzepove i prebrojavaju sa koliko novca polaze na posao... a tek ovo sa tajnim agentima u autobusima... boze koja je ovo zemlja... Generala Stojadina pod hitno vanredno unaprediti za makar 2 cina
opsidiannight wrote:Nema svrhe da ga osudujemo sto prodaje figure jebo je u stisci.
- lord warrior
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Re: DA SE MALO NASMEJETE A MOZETE I VI DA DODATE NESTO
Za sve ljubitelje Quest for Glory cetvorke:
http://www.cnn.com/2008/TECH/03/04/octo ... index.html
http://www.cnn.com/2008/TECH/03/04/octo ... index.html
Deception is a Right · Truth is a Privilege · Innocence is a Luxury
Re: DA SE MALO NASMEJETE A MOZETE I VI DA DODATE NESTO
Ovo je vredno postovanja po 2. put:
Added Inquisitor Tylerius
Added Landius, and bullseye bombing
Ever wonder who people are talking about? You know, when they say that THIER marines never shirk from things that make "normal marines" soil thier Mk V's? That they can take positions no other marines can take, that they take Earthshaker rounds in the face and say "Excuse me, but that is a lovely breeze"? Who are these other marines, these marines that DO run away, that CANT take that positon, who DO die when a lasgun grazes thier greaves?
Today I present to you those heros. Here they are ladies and gentlemen, The Emperors SHIELD MARINES!
Chapter name: Shield marines
Saying: In the name of the Emperor, please kill us!!
Colors: Red, with white trim.
Symbol: Big red bullesye on all parts of their armor
Chapter traits: None, at all, except for dying easily
Homeworld: Earth
The shield marines chapter originated from Earth. A executive order from all twelve high lords of Terra decreed that a new space marine chapter should be created, a propaganda chapter. The order stated that the Shield Marines should not be given any enhancements, past history, or extraordinary wargear/training. They would in a sense, be “lesser” marines. The shield marines primary creation objective was to be so much worse then other marines at accomplishing their tasks, that other marine chapters would appear to be “godly” in comparison.
The project became a complete success. At every major battle in the Imperium, from the Badab war to the Black crusades, the shield marines have been posted. Given their lack of ability, most imperial forces call in for additional aid in the form of other marine chapters. When these chapters arrive, victory comes at a much higher rate, and their abilities seem amazing in comparison. In fact, because of the creation of this chapter, space marine godliness rating has gone up 200%, and morale of imperial forces increased 600%.
No chapter in the Adeptus Astartes has ever agreed to fight beside the Shield marines. They are a complete disgrace to space marines, the weakest and the lowest form. Per combat rating, shield marines are the equivalent to 2 guardsmen. With such a low ability to achieve, the marine chapter has zero self victories under its belt. But the chapter is beyond just normal size. Due to It’s high casualty rates, the marines must constantly recruit from the holy world of terra, were everyday, peasants and the poor line up for their induction. Induction is in its basic, a suit of cardboard power amour, and a Ompehila organ to stop paper cuts.
Due to their lack of everything cool, Shield marines are constantly pessimistic, if not suicidal. Since the massacre of 12th company, when all 100 marines killed themselves via lasgun, every company must be accompanied by a Chaplain, whom must also be accompanied by an inquisitor, as the chaplains tend to become suicidal as well.
Shield marine stats
WS BS S T W I A LD SV Pts
3 4 3 4 1 8 1 7 4+ 12
Depressed: Shield marines must take a LD check every turn if a Chaplian is not on the table.
Take the Bullet: Shield marines are adept at dying and taking enemy fire. When a shield marine squad takes multiple wounds, check the squad size. If the squad is above or at 50% a wounded marine may opt to take a second wound, thus saving a member of his squad from death.
Meat Shields: Over the years, the emporers forces have learned to use the Shield marines as just that, shields. Whenever an ally or other marine squad are targeted, check Los if there is another squad in front of them. If so, the shield marines in front may opt to take the incoming fire. This ability does not take effect if the weapons are indirect fire.
Chapter Master Bolterius to the Headeus
Chapter master Bolterius is the 200th chapter master in the Shield marines chapter. Due to everyone else in the chapter sucking up the enemy fire, the chapter masters tend to think they are real marines, and get themselves killed pretty quickly.
Chapter master Bolterius has the tactical experience of a 9 yr old, and has led the 2nd company to complete ruin on several occasions. Equipped with the “big Bullseye” Bolterius leads the chapter to grief and misfortune on the battlefields of the imperium
WS BS S T W I A Ld Sv Pts
4 2 4 4 2 3 2 7 3+ 65
Big Bullseye: Where most bullseye of the chapter direct enemy incoming small arms fire, the Big Bullseye is meant to direct artillery fire. Whenever artillery weapons are on the field, roll a d6. on a roll of 4+, the artillery crews cant resist firing at the bullseye, and target Bolterius.
Equippded with plasma pistol, power weapon
Chaplain Deppresum
Chaplain Deppresum has been head Chaplain for the Shield marines for over 50 yrs, which is quite the life expectancy when it comes to shield marines. Leading the chapters overall speeches, Chaplain Deppresum has caused over 23 marine suicides due to his lack of valor, zeal, and overall doldrums mood. Chaplain Deppresum is equipped with the Crozius Saddinium.
Recently, Deppresum has come under inquisitorial suspicion, when during the siege of Broklaw V, he entered the com system and gave a speech to all Imperial forces involved with the crusade. His speech was so awful and sad that 80% of all Guard units threw themselves on their own trench spikes, crippiling the Imperial forces and losing Broklaw to the Imperium forever
Deppresum is equipped also with a bolt pistol
WSBS S T W I A L D SV Pts
4 3 4 4 2 5 3 10 d6 85
Crozius Saddinium: This specially modified crozius contains nothing of the emperors holy light. Instead, it is filled with the sad monotonous spirit of a dead adminstratium clerk named Derick. When struck with the crozius, those hit must take a LD check. If they fail, the enemies are removed as they all ritually commit suicide
Faildarius: The faildarius is a negative Rosarius. When Deppresum must take a SV check, roll a 2 d6. For the first roll, count that as Deppresum’s SV. For the second roll, add that to the second dice. He cannot have a save high then 6+. This save is invulnerable
Horrible Oratory: Saddimiums speeches are so awful that, in the shooting phase, he may choose to target one squad. That squad must, even if it normally wouldn’t have to (TAKE THAT FEARLESS!!) take a LD check. If they fail, they fall back 2d6 for d6 amount of turns.
Inquisitor Tylarius
Inquisitor Tylarius has recently been stationed with the Shield Marines chapter due his characertistic push overness and all around paranoia. A man who has stumbled and tripped his way to Inquisitoral rankhood, Tylarius has developed a pychosis of paranoia and trigger happy syndrome that makes a commisar's exectution list look like a space marine casualty figure. Because of his low value and vagueness, Tylarius has the sad task of keeping the shield marines in line and free from mutation. Unusually, Tylarius does not see the down side to this station, the usual dolldrums mood that accompanies those with the chapter unaffecting him. Specualtion suggests that this is because Tylarius is already a downtrodden spirit, that or he must be of demon kin to avoid such sucidal madness. Tylarius is best known for his appliance retinue. Forces of the imperium gawk and stare slack jawed in the thick of battle, where the Inquisitor and his appliance retinue join the fighting. With his ant-grave clothes hook, treaded cabnient, teleporting coat rack, and other such odd accessories, Tylarius's paranoi takes to the extreme. Trusting nothing less then the items he uses in his daily life, Tylarius refuses to accept any other form of aid.
To quote one guardsmen spectator
"I've never seen anythin' like it sirs! We were gettin pinned down by heavy bolter fira', when all of a sudden a great flash and boom! There's this coat rack! I know! No joke, and this coat rack starts smackin' soldiers' left an right, when we here this sudden growl and a big frakkin' cabinet comes trumbling up! Auto cannon and a big Gakin' claw rippin through the enemy! I swear sir, on the Emporer!....Hey...uhh what are you doin with that commisa-" Guardsmen executed for possible chaos taint.
Tylraius is equipped with a specially modifided bolt pistol, a rigged auspex, and "Power" sword.
WS BS S T W I A LD SV Pts
3 2 3 3 2 3 3 8 4+ 80
Trigg' happy pistol: This specially modified bolt pistol was a gift from the peoples of Drylinka lll, for leaving the planet, please. Inscribied on the holster of the pistol itself are the wordings, "please, please, PLEASE, never come back" The people of Drylinka lll are not know for thier gun craftsmanship, and severl theories suggest that the weapon was created to in fact kill Tylarius. The pistols trigger, once engaged, sticks to the back of the gun, until the magazine runs out. Due to the high rate of fire, the gun has 0 accuracy (shown in profile), and is a Assualt 4 bolt pistol, that follows the "gets hot" rules of plasma guns.
Rigged Auspex: Perhaps as a cruel joke, or a gift from another planet "saved", this auspex has been in Tylarius's possesion since his station with the Shield Marines. Whether the readings are true are not, the auspex shows a battlefield swarming with enemy soldiers. to represent this confusion, at the begining of every game, take a morale test for Tylarius. If he fails, roll 2d6 and a scatter die, and move Tylarius there.
Sword: Another cruel joke, this "sword" has long been a personal favorite of Tylarius's armoury. Labelled, "power" sword, the sword has nothing of the qualities that embody an actual power weapon. Rather, the swords name itself is "Power". Misread by Tylarius, the Inquisitor rushes into battle, bieleving he wields a true power weapon. But through faith alone, the properties of the weapon have been known to change, as first hand accounts speak of the weapon itself charging with the emperors most holy light.
Every time Tylarius attacks, make a morale check. If Tylarius passes, his weapon is filled with faith alone, and ignores all armour saves, inculding invulnerable saves.
Paranoia: Tylerius is extremly paranoid, and as such will not under any circumstances lead any other allies of the Imperium into battle, besides his own retinue.
Tylerius's Retinue
The appliance retinue of Inquisitor Tylerius is a mystery beyond that of even the Adeptus Mechanicus. How the Inqusitior managed to obtain such odd ended mechanisms is beyond even the Ordo Xenos own knowledge, and they are rumored to have originated from Holy Terra itself.
Coat Rack
Tylerius's coat rack is his closest ally. Carrying not only his most favored 40,000 millenium trendy dark overcoats, the CoatRack also acts as his personal teleporation device, sending Tylarius and his retinue across the battlefield wherever they may be needed.
The coat rack is armed with three twin linked lasguns.
Ws BS S T W I A LD Sv Pts
2 4 2 3 1 3 2 10 4+ 50
Teleport: This ability allows Tylarius and his retinue to utilise the DeepStrike rules.
Fearless: The Coat Rack is FEARLESS!!!
Treaded Cabinet
The Cabinet is Tylarius's heavy hitter retinue personale. Moving on heavy treads, and reinforced with cermaite lining, The cabinent is a fearsome display of old terra style furniture and new age style whoop ass.
The cabinet is armed with a heavy bolter, and dreadnought close combat weapon.
WS BS S T W I A LD SV PTs
3 3 10 6 3 2 2 10 2+ 75
The cabinent may shoot and move normally as if its weapon were an assualt weapon.
Fearless: The cabinet is FEARLESS!
Coat Hanger
The Coat Hanger is the most unique member within the retinue. Acting as a personal shield to Tylerius and his coats, the Hanger spins himself around Tylerius, effectivly covering from all corners of incoming fire.
WS BS S T W I A LD SV PTs
2 2 2 3 2 3 1 10 5+ 30
ForceField: As long as Coat Hanger is in play, Tylerius benefits from a 4+ invulnerable save.
However, when ever the forcefield save is used, take an armour save for the coat hanger.
Fearless: The Coat hanger is FEARLESS TOO!!!
Special Deployment.
Bullseye Bombing: Whenever the enemy is too entrenched in a fortified position, or the local guardsmen are done exhausting thier basilisks (and casualty lists) it has been known for generals to call for aid in the form of none other then the shield marines. Bielieving themselves to actually be cool enough for drop pod landing, these occasions are the few moments when shield marine morale actually increases. Flying high over the battlefield in dressed up ThunderHawks (actually hangliders with dummy pilots) the shield marines make ready for low orbit deployment with thier special "terra issued" jump packs. These special edition jump packs have none of the qualities of acutal space marine jump packs. Instead, they are paper mache models fillied to the the brim with explosives. Once air borne, the shield marines are lead to bieleve they are bringing the fight to the enemes of the emporer. The battle cry of "IN the name of the emporer, Please dont shoot me down!" can be heard in the wind as the shield marines make planet fall. Unfortunatly, by the time half of them have exploded on touch down, the rest of the marines begin to realise whats going on and the battle cry quickly turns into, In the name of the emporer, HOW THE HELL DO YOU GET THIS THING OFF?!?!?
Bullseye bomb stats
Weapon Range Str. AP Type
Bullseye bomb Deep Strike 6 4 Heavy 1, blast
When useing the bullseye bomb deployment, roll the unit equippded as if rolling for deep strike. When successfull, place small blast templates equal to the number of models equippded where scatter die roll lands. Use barrage rule when placing multiple markers I.E. when first marker is placed, continue to roll 2d6 for each other blast marker based on first blasts location.
*Dud bomb*: On certain occasions, the explosives in a shield marines pack have been known to not go off (rare occasions) To represent this, for each model in the squad, roll a d6. If 5 or 6, place the space marine model rather the blast template. These models do not have to follow unit coherency, nor do thier change in squad size effect there leadership roll. And shield marines are not effected by other marine blast templates, as they are so frakking lucky for survivng the god emperor deems them worthy for some slack.
Special character
Landius, the ever surviving marine
Landius to date has been the only shield marine to survive more then one Bullseye bombing deployment. In fact, Landius has been sent on SEVEN different suici- i mean "deployments" and survived. Whether the will of the God Emporer, or more likely the Eldar Laughing god, every time Landius has been "deployed, he has survived. Being Proficent in living (a rare trait in the Shield Marines) Landius has been specially equippded by the Inquisition for that the day he does FINALLY blow up, it'll pack a mega punch.
WS BS S T W I A Ld Sv Pts
4 4 3 4 2 1 3 8 4+ 100
Dud bomb of Fate: Having survived so many suici- ahh! i mean Deployments, Landius has become adept at disarming the massive bomb strapped to his back. When rolling for Landius's dud, roll a d6. On a 2 or more, Landius survives the crash and his bomb does not explode.
Chained Swords: Unlike many assualt marines who carry Chain Swords, Landius has been specially equippded with "Chained Swords". These are in fact, two swords that have been chained together at the blades. This makes them incredibly difficult to wield. For purposes of close combat, Landius always strikes on Inititive 1, as shown in profile. However, becaue of the deadliness of the weapon, all of Landius's attacks gain the Heavy attack profile.
Wait till he dies!: Landius knows his luck is running out, and has prepared to take down as many of the enemy (or allies) as he can. If (when) Landius dies, roll a d6. On a 3 or more, Landius dramatically flips the switch on his bomb, and all hell breaks loose. Place a large blast marker over Landius, and all troops caught in the blast suffer 1d6 Str. 8 Ap. 2 attacks.
Shield Marines! Are you ready to die...err kill in the name of the Emporer? Landius could here Deppresum's speech over the com, but all he could feel was deppression. The wind was galling the sides of the Thunderhawk, the slightest breeze causing the ship to rock back and forth. Strange, he had never seen a any other marines with such a cruddy thunderhawk. BANG Landius did not turn to the sound. Deppresum's oratory was reaching it's climax, and there were always a few brothers who took thier lives before a coming battle.
Now! in the name of the Emporer, get out there and TAKE A BULLE- I MEAN LIFE!
At this, the marines began jumping. Landius took his place at the back of the line, already sniping the blue cord attached to his "jet pack". It was always a tough decision, the blue or the red. Sometimes, he snipped the red, and sometimes the blue, it was always tough figuring out which one would blow up the bomb. He had a hinting suspicion that someone in the armoury was switching it.
As Landius reached the base of the ThunderHawk, he began tugging out his swords. "standard issue my ass" Thought Landius, as he jumped from the ThunderHawk, struggling to pull the weapon free from it's holster. "Here we go again".
Added Inquisitor Tylerius
Added Landius, and bullseye bombing
Ever wonder who people are talking about? You know, when they say that THIER marines never shirk from things that make "normal marines" soil thier Mk V's? That they can take positions no other marines can take, that they take Earthshaker rounds in the face and say "Excuse me, but that is a lovely breeze"? Who are these other marines, these marines that DO run away, that CANT take that positon, who DO die when a lasgun grazes thier greaves?
Today I present to you those heros. Here they are ladies and gentlemen, The Emperors SHIELD MARINES!
Chapter name: Shield marines
Saying: In the name of the Emperor, please kill us!!
Colors: Red, with white trim.
Symbol: Big red bullesye on all parts of their armor
Chapter traits: None, at all, except for dying easily
Homeworld: Earth
The shield marines chapter originated from Earth. A executive order from all twelve high lords of Terra decreed that a new space marine chapter should be created, a propaganda chapter. The order stated that the Shield Marines should not be given any enhancements, past history, or extraordinary wargear/training. They would in a sense, be “lesser” marines. The shield marines primary creation objective was to be so much worse then other marines at accomplishing their tasks, that other marine chapters would appear to be “godly” in comparison.
The project became a complete success. At every major battle in the Imperium, from the Badab war to the Black crusades, the shield marines have been posted. Given their lack of ability, most imperial forces call in for additional aid in the form of other marine chapters. When these chapters arrive, victory comes at a much higher rate, and their abilities seem amazing in comparison. In fact, because of the creation of this chapter, space marine godliness rating has gone up 200%, and morale of imperial forces increased 600%.
No chapter in the Adeptus Astartes has ever agreed to fight beside the Shield marines. They are a complete disgrace to space marines, the weakest and the lowest form. Per combat rating, shield marines are the equivalent to 2 guardsmen. With such a low ability to achieve, the marine chapter has zero self victories under its belt. But the chapter is beyond just normal size. Due to It’s high casualty rates, the marines must constantly recruit from the holy world of terra, were everyday, peasants and the poor line up for their induction. Induction is in its basic, a suit of cardboard power amour, and a Ompehila organ to stop paper cuts.
Due to their lack of everything cool, Shield marines are constantly pessimistic, if not suicidal. Since the massacre of 12th company, when all 100 marines killed themselves via lasgun, every company must be accompanied by a Chaplain, whom must also be accompanied by an inquisitor, as the chaplains tend to become suicidal as well.
Shield marine stats
WS BS S T W I A LD SV Pts
3 4 3 4 1 8 1 7 4+ 12
Depressed: Shield marines must take a LD check every turn if a Chaplian is not on the table.
Take the Bullet: Shield marines are adept at dying and taking enemy fire. When a shield marine squad takes multiple wounds, check the squad size. If the squad is above or at 50% a wounded marine may opt to take a second wound, thus saving a member of his squad from death.
Meat Shields: Over the years, the emporers forces have learned to use the Shield marines as just that, shields. Whenever an ally or other marine squad are targeted, check Los if there is another squad in front of them. If so, the shield marines in front may opt to take the incoming fire. This ability does not take effect if the weapons are indirect fire.
Chapter Master Bolterius to the Headeus
Chapter master Bolterius is the 200th chapter master in the Shield marines chapter. Due to everyone else in the chapter sucking up the enemy fire, the chapter masters tend to think they are real marines, and get themselves killed pretty quickly.
Chapter master Bolterius has the tactical experience of a 9 yr old, and has led the 2nd company to complete ruin on several occasions. Equipped with the “big Bullseye” Bolterius leads the chapter to grief and misfortune on the battlefields of the imperium
WS BS S T W I A Ld Sv Pts
4 2 4 4 2 3 2 7 3+ 65
Big Bullseye: Where most bullseye of the chapter direct enemy incoming small arms fire, the Big Bullseye is meant to direct artillery fire. Whenever artillery weapons are on the field, roll a d6. on a roll of 4+, the artillery crews cant resist firing at the bullseye, and target Bolterius.
Equippded with plasma pistol, power weapon
Chaplain Deppresum
Chaplain Deppresum has been head Chaplain for the Shield marines for over 50 yrs, which is quite the life expectancy when it comes to shield marines. Leading the chapters overall speeches, Chaplain Deppresum has caused over 23 marine suicides due to his lack of valor, zeal, and overall doldrums mood. Chaplain Deppresum is equipped with the Crozius Saddinium.
Recently, Deppresum has come under inquisitorial suspicion, when during the siege of Broklaw V, he entered the com system and gave a speech to all Imperial forces involved with the crusade. His speech was so awful and sad that 80% of all Guard units threw themselves on their own trench spikes, crippiling the Imperial forces and losing Broklaw to the Imperium forever
Deppresum is equipped also with a bolt pistol
WSBS S T W I A L D SV Pts
4 3 4 4 2 5 3 10 d6 85
Crozius Saddinium: This specially modified crozius contains nothing of the emperors holy light. Instead, it is filled with the sad monotonous spirit of a dead adminstratium clerk named Derick. When struck with the crozius, those hit must take a LD check. If they fail, the enemies are removed as they all ritually commit suicide
Faildarius: The faildarius is a negative Rosarius. When Deppresum must take a SV check, roll a 2 d6. For the first roll, count that as Deppresum’s SV. For the second roll, add that to the second dice. He cannot have a save high then 6+. This save is invulnerable
Horrible Oratory: Saddimiums speeches are so awful that, in the shooting phase, he may choose to target one squad. That squad must, even if it normally wouldn’t have to (TAKE THAT FEARLESS!!) take a LD check. If they fail, they fall back 2d6 for d6 amount of turns.
Inquisitor Tylarius
Inquisitor Tylarius has recently been stationed with the Shield Marines chapter due his characertistic push overness and all around paranoia. A man who has stumbled and tripped his way to Inquisitoral rankhood, Tylarius has developed a pychosis of paranoia and trigger happy syndrome that makes a commisar's exectution list look like a space marine casualty figure. Because of his low value and vagueness, Tylarius has the sad task of keeping the shield marines in line and free from mutation. Unusually, Tylarius does not see the down side to this station, the usual dolldrums mood that accompanies those with the chapter unaffecting him. Specualtion suggests that this is because Tylarius is already a downtrodden spirit, that or he must be of demon kin to avoid such sucidal madness. Tylarius is best known for his appliance retinue. Forces of the imperium gawk and stare slack jawed in the thick of battle, where the Inquisitor and his appliance retinue join the fighting. With his ant-grave clothes hook, treaded cabnient, teleporting coat rack, and other such odd accessories, Tylarius's paranoi takes to the extreme. Trusting nothing less then the items he uses in his daily life, Tylarius refuses to accept any other form of aid.
To quote one guardsmen spectator
"I've never seen anythin' like it sirs! We were gettin pinned down by heavy bolter fira', when all of a sudden a great flash and boom! There's this coat rack! I know! No joke, and this coat rack starts smackin' soldiers' left an right, when we here this sudden growl and a big frakkin' cabinet comes trumbling up! Auto cannon and a big Gakin' claw rippin through the enemy! I swear sir, on the Emporer!....Hey...uhh what are you doin with that commisa-" Guardsmen executed for possible chaos taint.
Tylraius is equipped with a specially modifided bolt pistol, a rigged auspex, and "Power" sword.
WS BS S T W I A LD SV Pts
3 2 3 3 2 3 3 8 4+ 80
Trigg' happy pistol: This specially modified bolt pistol was a gift from the peoples of Drylinka lll, for leaving the planet, please. Inscribied on the holster of the pistol itself are the wordings, "please, please, PLEASE, never come back" The people of Drylinka lll are not know for thier gun craftsmanship, and severl theories suggest that the weapon was created to in fact kill Tylarius. The pistols trigger, once engaged, sticks to the back of the gun, until the magazine runs out. Due to the high rate of fire, the gun has 0 accuracy (shown in profile), and is a Assualt 4 bolt pistol, that follows the "gets hot" rules of plasma guns.
Rigged Auspex: Perhaps as a cruel joke, or a gift from another planet "saved", this auspex has been in Tylarius's possesion since his station with the Shield Marines. Whether the readings are true are not, the auspex shows a battlefield swarming with enemy soldiers. to represent this confusion, at the begining of every game, take a morale test for Tylarius. If he fails, roll 2d6 and a scatter die, and move Tylarius there.
Sword: Another cruel joke, this "sword" has long been a personal favorite of Tylarius's armoury. Labelled, "power" sword, the sword has nothing of the qualities that embody an actual power weapon. Rather, the swords name itself is "Power". Misread by Tylarius, the Inquisitor rushes into battle, bieleving he wields a true power weapon. But through faith alone, the properties of the weapon have been known to change, as first hand accounts speak of the weapon itself charging with the emperors most holy light.
Every time Tylarius attacks, make a morale check. If Tylarius passes, his weapon is filled with faith alone, and ignores all armour saves, inculding invulnerable saves.
Paranoia: Tylerius is extremly paranoid, and as such will not under any circumstances lead any other allies of the Imperium into battle, besides his own retinue.
Tylerius's Retinue
The appliance retinue of Inquisitor Tylerius is a mystery beyond that of even the Adeptus Mechanicus. How the Inqusitior managed to obtain such odd ended mechanisms is beyond even the Ordo Xenos own knowledge, and they are rumored to have originated from Holy Terra itself.
Coat Rack
Tylerius's coat rack is his closest ally. Carrying not only his most favored 40,000 millenium trendy dark overcoats, the CoatRack also acts as his personal teleporation device, sending Tylarius and his retinue across the battlefield wherever they may be needed.
The coat rack is armed with three twin linked lasguns.
Ws BS S T W I A LD Sv Pts
2 4 2 3 1 3 2 10 4+ 50
Teleport: This ability allows Tylarius and his retinue to utilise the DeepStrike rules.
Fearless: The Coat Rack is FEARLESS!!!
Treaded Cabinet
The Cabinet is Tylarius's heavy hitter retinue personale. Moving on heavy treads, and reinforced with cermaite lining, The cabinent is a fearsome display of old terra style furniture and new age style whoop ass.
The cabinet is armed with a heavy bolter, and dreadnought close combat weapon.
WS BS S T W I A LD SV PTs
3 3 10 6 3 2 2 10 2+ 75
The cabinent may shoot and move normally as if its weapon were an assualt weapon.
Fearless: The cabinet is FEARLESS!
Coat Hanger
The Coat Hanger is the most unique member within the retinue. Acting as a personal shield to Tylerius and his coats, the Hanger spins himself around Tylerius, effectivly covering from all corners of incoming fire.
WS BS S T W I A LD SV PTs
2 2 2 3 2 3 1 10 5+ 30
ForceField: As long as Coat Hanger is in play, Tylerius benefits from a 4+ invulnerable save.
However, when ever the forcefield save is used, take an armour save for the coat hanger.
Fearless: The Coat hanger is FEARLESS TOO!!!
Special Deployment.
Bullseye Bombing: Whenever the enemy is too entrenched in a fortified position, or the local guardsmen are done exhausting thier basilisks (and casualty lists) it has been known for generals to call for aid in the form of none other then the shield marines. Bielieving themselves to actually be cool enough for drop pod landing, these occasions are the few moments when shield marine morale actually increases. Flying high over the battlefield in dressed up ThunderHawks (actually hangliders with dummy pilots) the shield marines make ready for low orbit deployment with thier special "terra issued" jump packs. These special edition jump packs have none of the qualities of acutal space marine jump packs. Instead, they are paper mache models fillied to the the brim with explosives. Once air borne, the shield marines are lead to bieleve they are bringing the fight to the enemes of the emporer. The battle cry of "IN the name of the emporer, Please dont shoot me down!" can be heard in the wind as the shield marines make planet fall. Unfortunatly, by the time half of them have exploded on touch down, the rest of the marines begin to realise whats going on and the battle cry quickly turns into, In the name of the emporer, HOW THE HELL DO YOU GET THIS THING OFF?!?!?
Bullseye bomb stats
Weapon Range Str. AP Type
Bullseye bomb Deep Strike 6 4 Heavy 1, blast
When useing the bullseye bomb deployment, roll the unit equippded as if rolling for deep strike. When successfull, place small blast templates equal to the number of models equippded where scatter die roll lands. Use barrage rule when placing multiple markers I.E. when first marker is placed, continue to roll 2d6 for each other blast marker based on first blasts location.
*Dud bomb*: On certain occasions, the explosives in a shield marines pack have been known to not go off (rare occasions) To represent this, for each model in the squad, roll a d6. If 5 or 6, place the space marine model rather the blast template. These models do not have to follow unit coherency, nor do thier change in squad size effect there leadership roll. And shield marines are not effected by other marine blast templates, as they are so frakking lucky for survivng the god emperor deems them worthy for some slack.
Special character
Landius, the ever surviving marine
Landius to date has been the only shield marine to survive more then one Bullseye bombing deployment. In fact, Landius has been sent on SEVEN different suici- i mean "deployments" and survived. Whether the will of the God Emporer, or more likely the Eldar Laughing god, every time Landius has been "deployed, he has survived. Being Proficent in living (a rare trait in the Shield Marines) Landius has been specially equippded by the Inquisition for that the day he does FINALLY blow up, it'll pack a mega punch.
WS BS S T W I A Ld Sv Pts
4 4 3 4 2 1 3 8 4+ 100
Dud bomb of Fate: Having survived so many suici- ahh! i mean Deployments, Landius has become adept at disarming the massive bomb strapped to his back. When rolling for Landius's dud, roll a d6. On a 2 or more, Landius survives the crash and his bomb does not explode.
Chained Swords: Unlike many assualt marines who carry Chain Swords, Landius has been specially equippded with "Chained Swords". These are in fact, two swords that have been chained together at the blades. This makes them incredibly difficult to wield. For purposes of close combat, Landius always strikes on Inititive 1, as shown in profile. However, becaue of the deadliness of the weapon, all of Landius's attacks gain the Heavy attack profile.
Wait till he dies!: Landius knows his luck is running out, and has prepared to take down as many of the enemy (or allies) as he can. If (when) Landius dies, roll a d6. On a 3 or more, Landius dramatically flips the switch on his bomb, and all hell breaks loose. Place a large blast marker over Landius, and all troops caught in the blast suffer 1d6 Str. 8 Ap. 2 attacks.
Shield Marines! Are you ready to die...err kill in the name of the Emporer? Landius could here Deppresum's speech over the com, but all he could feel was deppression. The wind was galling the sides of the Thunderhawk, the slightest breeze causing the ship to rock back and forth. Strange, he had never seen a any other marines with such a cruddy thunderhawk. BANG Landius did not turn to the sound. Deppresum's oratory was reaching it's climax, and there were always a few brothers who took thier lives before a coming battle.
Now! in the name of the Emporer, get out there and TAKE A BULLE- I MEAN LIFE!
At this, the marines began jumping. Landius took his place at the back of the line, already sniping the blue cord attached to his "jet pack". It was always a tough decision, the blue or the red. Sometimes, he snipped the red, and sometimes the blue, it was always tough figuring out which one would blow up the bomb. He had a hinting suspicion that someone in the armoury was switching it.
As Landius reached the base of the ThunderHawk, he began tugging out his swords. "standard issue my ass" Thought Landius, as he jumped from the ThunderHawk, struggling to pull the weapon free from it's holster. "Here we go again".
- PeraNekron
- Posts: 2231
- Joined: Thu Mar 13, 2008 11:31 am
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Re: DA SE MALO NASMEJETE A MOZETE I VI DA DODATE NESTO
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: secam se ovog...epic! :D
Mind Uploader wrote:... Kazem ja da je Pera isti Darth Vader, samo bez te moralne dubine...
Hypodermic wrote:Da nije robotech-a ne bih bio ovakakv kakav jesam!
Giga wrote:Realno, sasvim je logicno da mogu bez problema da ih bace sa par stotina metara i da budu prilicno sigurni da tom land raideru nece biti nista
igor wrote:jako je tesko uzimati puno poena jer se igra po knjizi.
Re: DA SE MALO NASMEJETE A MOZETE I VI DA DODATE NESTO
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